An occasion/collette charles
Long awaited conversation with you
We sit down at the Chinese restaurant, the one we always used to frequent. Fake bamboo and red carpet still embellish the otherwise naked room. We are sitting at our same old booth, the secluded corner seat, ordering the same dishes we used to love. The waiter brings us our waters, and leaves us to rehash old events, but neither of us is in the mood for time travel.
After we have exhausted all hope of small talk, how are you, how’s the family, what’s new at work, we sip at our empty water glasses, trying to find a distraction, some reason to not meet eyes and tell the truth. Mercifully, the food arrives, looking just as it used to, greasy and steaming. All this playing pretend has worn us out, so we politely serve ourselves, careful not to bump forks, or cause any other sort of affinity between us. I ask you to pass the chow mein, please, and you delicately hand it to me, pulling your hands away before any chance of brushing fingertips. No, we both need our personal space tonight.
Chewing distracts us both for a time, even though my appetite is gone. Anything to procrastinate the subject I feel, looming over the fried rice and beef broccoli. The awkwardness between us grows to a sharp point bordering insanity, so I try out a joke. The forced laughter of stale friendship is a welcome sound when compared to blaring taciturnity. We laugh longer than necessary, at something not even humorous, and I am almost relieved to stop.
The food takes our attention for a while longer, and then you glance at your watch, impatient as always. Funny how so much can stay the same, while everything is different. It is now that I know we will not be discussing anything tonight. Nothing will be rectified here.
The bill comes and we bicker lightly over who will pay. It is decided that we will split it, neither of us is comfortable with the idea of letting the other get the last say. We never used to worry about this kind of thing, but now it’s all a competition, and I will not lose. We walk outside, in the freezing weather that you always loved and I’ll always hate, and say goodbye. Again.
We sit down at the Chinese restaurant, the one we always used to frequent. Fake bamboo and red carpet still embellish the otherwise naked room. We are sitting at our same old booth, the secluded corner seat, ordering the same dishes we used to love. The waiter brings us our waters, and leaves us to rehash old events, but neither of us is in the mood for time travel.
After we have exhausted all hope of small talk, how are you, how’s the family, what’s new at work, we sip at our empty water glasses, trying to find a distraction, some reason to not meet eyes and tell the truth. Mercifully, the food arrives, looking just as it used to, greasy and steaming. All this playing pretend has worn us out, so we politely serve ourselves, careful not to bump forks, or cause any other sort of affinity between us. I ask you to pass the chow mein, please, and you delicately hand it to me, pulling your hands away before any chance of brushing fingertips. No, we both need our personal space tonight.
Chewing distracts us both for a time, even though my appetite is gone. Anything to procrastinate the subject I feel, looming over the fried rice and beef broccoli. The awkwardness between us grows to a sharp point bordering insanity, so I try out a joke. The forced laughter of stale friendship is a welcome sound when compared to blaring taciturnity. We laugh longer than necessary, at something not even humorous, and I am almost relieved to stop.
The food takes our attention for a while longer, and then you glance at your watch, impatient as always. Funny how so much can stay the same, while everything is different. It is now that I know we will not be discussing anything tonight. Nothing will be rectified here.
The bill comes and we bicker lightly over who will pay. It is decided that we will split it, neither of us is comfortable with the idea of letting the other get the last say. We never used to worry about this kind of thing, but now it’s all a competition, and I will not lose. We walk outside, in the freezing weather that you always loved and I’ll always hate, and say goodbye. Again.
posted by Anonymous | 1:12 PM
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