An Occasion | Tina Coleman

About a week and half ago, I experienced a pretty average day; until I checked my voicemail. It was my sister-in-law. “She’s here! She arrived at 5:30 this morning weighing 6 pounds.” Suddenly everything else I was thinking about had faded away. "My niece entered the world today." The first thing I wanted to do was talk to her 3-year old sister. I wondered what’s it’s like to be an only child at the age of three and then one day have it all change as your first sibling enters your little family. As I talked to her on the phone I couldn’t help but chuckle because of her excited voice. “Look at my sister Tina! Isn’t she cute? Watch! I’m gonna wash my hands and mommy’s gonna let me hold her, look Tina!” As I listened on the phone I wondered how I could explain to my niece that I couldn’t see what she was showing me, that I was over 200 miles away and could only hear her. Then I realized she would figure it out on her own time and I played along. “Wow…she IS cute isn’t she?”

Two days ago--a week after my niece’s birth, I finally made it home to see her. As I sat there holding her in my arms and comparing her hands with mine, my thoughts were racing. What will she look like in three years? What about ten? What will her personality be like? I sat there wishing, at that moment, that I could be a mom. Then I started thinking of all the responsibilities. Would I know how to correctly teach my children? How could I discipline my children to be responsible adults and remain their best friend at the same time? How much of who they become depends on how I raise them? When do I back off and let them learn on their own? Would I be strong enough? I suddenly wanted to better myself and prepare a little more. My choices aren’t all mine anymore, suddenly I want to live for more than just one person.