Punchline | Jessica Pierce

One day at lunch it was me, my little brother Jeremy and my mother and we got talking about TV shows we liked. I teased my little brother about a shirt he was wearing and he called me "MOpra" for Martha Stewart and Opra. Naturally I was upset, those just happened to be two of my least favorite female celebrities. I returned with "50 MMs" for 50 cent and Eminem. That made my little brother infuriated. He started ranting, "Y'all are racist!! I'm the original white rapper, ya might of heard of me. My name was Skittles." My mother who had been silent this entire time burned him with, "Are you sure it wasn't Keebler you Cracker."

Here's another:

My family and I were watching TV together and a commercial came on. It's one that I'm sure everyone's seen countless times. It's where a lady drives-thru and picks up her dry cleaning and the man in the car behind her is attractive. She tells the laundry lady that she'll pay for some of his shirts and leaves her card for him.
My dad loves to analyze everything and he said with a little disgust in his voice. "How does she know he's not married?" My mom without missing a beat replies, "Because he's picking up his own laundry."