Lukeman Exercise, Part One | Rayla Gomez

When I thought about it, people were so cautious, so aware of what might have happened instead of what actually would happen, that it was like they had a second pair of instincts that could react to any slight hint of danger.

Although this sentence only contains one main idea, it is a little wordy. In my writing, I tend to get too flowery with my descriptions and that can take away from the actual point of my telling the story. When I shortened this sentence, I realized that the paragraph sounded a little better because the reader has a chance to catch his/her breath. The reader is also able to understand the material without so many useless phrases.

Truth be told, living in old country times was sleepy, innocent in a way (especially if you were a child)- yet not naïve. People protected themselves with rifles that were perched above the fireplaces, a constant peace falling over them when they saw the arms. When I thought about it, people were so cautious and aware of what might happen that it was like they had a second pair of instincts, reacting to any slight hint of danger. On the other hand, I never thought it strange to be protected. I remember my mother owning a rifle just to keep the coyotes and wild cats away from the ranch house at night.