Beautiful Wisdom | Megan Frankowski

A computer geek is one who will never be out of a job.

Lukeman Exercise 2, Megan

I decided to take a dialogue where a break was needed and fix it by adding "he said". I think by adding the break it helped portray the intensity of the situation, and the intensity building between the three friends. I'm sure there is always a need to apply the technique elsewhere in work, but I think I do a pretty good job with it--usually.

Original:
"Why do you always have to be so stubborn? Why can't you just listen to me and do what I say?"
"Sorry, Chris, but not everyone believes you are right all the time. Is it so hard for you to accept that maybe I'm doing things the right way?" Jill asked, obviously very annoyed.
"I'm older than you Jill. I know how best to handle the situation. You should just listen to me."
"Why? You know Jill does have a good point. Her way would make it easier to get across. Maybe we should try it."
"Oh so now you're taking her side. Why? Because she's pretty? Because you like her better? Because you've been in love with her since the fourth grade?"
"Hey Chris, back off. Her idea just seems to make more sense. Is it really such a big deal if we try her idea instead of yours?"
"Yeah it's a big deal. We only have time to try one idea. I don't want to die simply because you want to make your girlfriend feel better."
"Look, Chris is right. We only have time for one so let's stop arguing and get to it. Chris, you win. My idea was stupid-let's try yours."


Technique Applied:
"Why do you always have to be so stubborn? Why can't you just listen to me and do what I say?"
"Sorry, Chris, but not everyone believes you are right all the time. Is it so hard for you to accept that maybe I'm doing things the right way?" Jill asked, obviously very annoyed.
"I'm older than you Jill. I know how best to handle the situation. You should just listen to me."
"Why?" Eric interjected. "You know Jill does have a good point. Her way would make it easier to get across. Maybe we should try it."
"Oh so now you're taking her side," Chris said defensively, giving Eric a betrayed look. "Why? Because she's pretty? Because you like her better? Because you've been in love with her since the fourth grade?"
"Hey Chris, back off. Her idea just seems to make more sense. Is it really such a big deal if we try her idea instead of yours?" Eric defensively replied.
"Yeah it's a big deal. We only have time to try one idea. I don't want to die simply because you want to make your girlfriend feel better."
"Look, Chris is right. We only have time for one so let's stop arguing and get to it," Jill admitted hastily. She had just realized how much the water had come up in the short time they had been arguing. "Chris, you win. My idea was stupid-let's try yours."

Lukeman Exercise 1, Megan

I wrote the beginning of a short story using sentences with less than six words. It didn't work very well for me. I felt like I got nowhere. I compensated by taking out "to be"verbs, which makes writing stronger, but it was so difficult. I don't think I could have a writing style using only short sentences. I like using a variety of sentence lengths. I found the constant stopping very hindering to my writing. I would get a great idea and try to take off with it, then reach the six word limit. So I would revise the sentence then try to get the complete idea in through subsequent sentences. Short sentences are great to use every once in a while, but I couldn't do it on a regular basis.
It was a bright day. The sun beat on the town. There was no escaping the heat. It seemed to penetrate everywhere. Even the shade. Aaron sat under a tree. He was watching. Watching for the girl in his dreams. The girl with long brown hair. The girl with blue eyes. The only girl he'd ever loved. She came around the corner. His heart leaped from his chest. He loved just seeing her. She walked with such grace. Her smile sparkled in the sun. He had to talk to her. But how? She was popular. The head of the cheerleaders. The valedictorian. She was perfect. Aaron, he was a geek. He was on the chess team. He loved math and science. He spent the weekend doing extra-credit. She would never notice him. He had to do something. Something to stand out. He had to make her notice him. But how?
He smiled as she walked by. She turned his direction. She looked right through him. His heart sank. Eddie came up to him.
"How are you?" he asked. He could tell Aaron was upset. He plopped down in the grass. Then he saw where Aaron looked. "Forget about her. She's out of your league."
"One day she'll see me. Then we can be together. I just need something. Something to make her notice me."
The girl walked over to guys. One put his arm around her. Then he kissed her cheek.
"She only dates guys like that." Eddie said, matter-of-factly. "She'd only a jock. She doesn't notice geeks. Find someone else. If you don't you'll be miserable." Aaron looked at Eddie gravely. "I'm just telling you the truth. Girls like her don't care. They'll rip your heart out. They only care about themselves."