Uncanny | Jordan Peace

While riding my bike up to the bank yesterday and wiping the gallons of sweat from my face (fat people, bicycles, and gentle slopes don't mix) I came upon an elderly couple out on a mid afternoon stroll. Wheezing with effort to pedal my bike up a road that to the human eye looked flat if not on a downgrade I mustard a friendly if not understandable hello. They nodded to me and we both went on our ways.

After a minute or two and only managing to move a few feet I looked back and noticed that the lady of the couple easily in her eighties was sporting a mullet. While this in and of itself is only slightly unusual I realized that her mullet was an exact replica of one Billy Ray Cyrus, country music one hit wonder turned PAX television staple.

The sight of such an old and seemingly nice woman brought about visions of over the hill metal acts touring nursing homes to the delight of geriatric rockers. The mental image of a small stage covered in gargantuan panties, meager amplifiers and guitars, and musicians annoyed by their own fate triggered "Big Bottom" by Spinal Tap to play in my head for hours.