Lukeman Exercise Part Two | Chris Tash

After reading up to this point I've noticed I have always had colons and semicolons confused. Can you blame me? Should have different names! Anyway, I tend to use semicolons when I want to put the driving end point, the real meaning. I now, however, realize I've been misusing this. Oh well, live and learn. I went ahead and found a piece of writing that I've been questioning for a while. It displays my childish misuse of the semicolon and also doesn't have the opportunity to fully convey the meaning I intended.

Before:
I think the sky can begin to wilt. It's all connected to our imagination. When you look into the sky what do you see? I usually see blue, a cloud, or a sunset. Beyond that? I see dual stars wrapping around each other and a chaotic mix of dust and planets fighting around them. I see enormous, solar system scale, clouds of colored dust. The bending of time as a star exhales for the final time. And then what? I'm not sure.. So, tell me, does the sky end where my imagination ends? It has too. With that theory in mind, ask yourself when the sky ends.

After:
I think the sky can begin to wilt. It's all connected to our imagination. When you look into the sky what do you see? I usually see blue, a cloud, or a sunset. Beyond that? I see dual stars wrapping around each other and a chaotic mix of dust and planets fighting around them. I see enormous, solar system scale, clouds of colored dust. The bending of time as a star exhales for the final time. And then what? I'm not sure. The sky must end the moment my imagination does: it's required too.

I actually did a few things to this but it was all for the sake of improving the strength of the point. For starters, I decided to transform the rhetorical question into a statement. This forced me to change the wording a bit. By adding the colon I was able to give it a stronger end. 'Required' was added as well for more definite power. Lastly, the final sentence was removed. The paragraph needed to end where it started. To come full circle. Anyway, yay, I liked it.

Lukeman Exercise Part One | Chris Tash

I decided to try one of the first assignments. I tend to make my sentences long and wanted to try the other side. This task was that of only making my sentences about 6-7 words in length. To be honest, it was fun. I found I was given the opportunity to cut some words or even attempt to use two sentences to describe a single idea. I really liked reading it back out loud. It might just be me but I found myself trying to read faster to find the outcome but also having to slow a bit as I hurdled over the periods. This created an almost.. hungry sensation within me. I wanted to read more. Faster.

Triela walked briskly down the hall. A glance back suggested she was alone. A second glance confirmed this. Her eyes narrowed along with her step. Quicker. One foot in front of the other. Up, down; her chest rose and fell. Running, she began to run. Shadows began to betray confidence. Her sight told her she was alone. Fear welled inside her small frame. It whispered someone was near. Which to follow. Turn. Down a new hall. Her muscled screamed. But she couldn’t stop. Not now. Her breathing was met. Other steps began to echo. The sounds chased her down. Like ravenous dogs that found a meal. Faster. Biting her lip she continued. Can’t stop. She knew she was the last one. With her own eyes she saw. The other picked off. One by one. Around another turn. Light danced though the near door. She slammed into it. Opening it and rushing out. She met fresh air. The steps had stopped. Replaced by the sound of birds. Trees swayed lazily. Her eyes closed. Triela felt safe for a moment. Wait. No. No!

After doing this assignment I noticed I started constructing shorter sentences. I may not fully implement the idea of many short sentences in any writing but I will definitely be looking at the structure of my work more carefully.