Lukeman 2 | Keisha McGovern

In my writings I have found that I do not use dashes or parentheses really in my last few writings. I have discovered that I need to make my writings richer and actually use these techniques to make my writings stand out. I need to be more aware of what I am putting into my writings and make them more broad and make the reader want to read what I have to say.So down below is one of my first writings , with no dashes or parentheses, then below that I tried adding in some.

well the other day when i was outside walking to the school, there was this couple sitting close to me kissing the whole time. Now i was thinking really cant you take this somewhere else. It made me laugh and just shake my head. The couple did this for like an hour, everytime i would look up there they were still attached at the hip and lips. What an exciting day, it was hot outside with a little breeze and i was just sitting there by the trees and wondering will these two ever give up. well that is all i have for now on this subject i will be back to ellaborate a little more.

Well the other day when I was outside walking to the school, there was this couple sitting close to me kissing the whole time. Now I was thinking, " really can't you take this somewhere else."It made me laugh and just shake my head. The couple did this for like and hout, everytime I would look up there they were still attached at the hip and lips. What an exciting day, it was hot outside- with little breeze- and I was just sitting there by the trees and wondering will these tow ever give up. Well that is all I have for now on this subject I will be back to ellaborate a little more later.

Lukeman Part 1 | Keisha McGovern

Choose a sentence from your work that might be confusing to the reader, or perhaps too open for interpretation.
When I was a little girl, my brother and I had these two fishes who were beta's. They were our favorite because of all the wonderful colors they had on them. These were the only pets we could have because we lived in an apartment complex that did not allow other animals excepts fish. Well when we were both younger, my parents divorced and my dad had visitation in the summer time. So when summer came, we had to leave our wonderful fishes with my mom; who promised she would take very good care of them. So my brother and I went on with our daily lives for the summer having fun with my dad and family. It was time to go back home to my moms house, and we were so excited to see our fishes. We ran right into the house and my mom sat there and told us that she had some bad news, we were like OK. She said that when she went to clean our fish bowls, she forgot to add water to the bowl when she put the fishes back and killed them. We were both heartbroken, because to us these were our pals. Needless to say my mother had a new nickname, " the fish killer."

Introduction | Keisha McGovern

Well lets start off by saying that there is nothing really interesting about me, at least I don't think so. But if I have to tell everyone one thing interesting about me it would be that I have a crooked toe. Yeah this toe is ugly and I have hated it since I was a little girl. Lets start off telling everyone that this was an accident that I never asked for. First off this accident took place when I was the age five, I was at my grandma's house with all of my cousins, my cousin troy and I were riding the old banana bikes and I never put shoes or socks on. The next thing I know my big toe was stuck inside the bike chain and I was screaming bloody murder. So my mother was called, from work to pick me up and rush me to the hospital. The lady across the street was the one who got my toe out of the chain. All I can remember is that there was a lot of blood and I was ready to pass out. So when we arrived at the hospital I was taken for surgery and then I was fine. Come to find out three years later my toe looked very odd. I asked my mom what could be wrong with it, she told me " its from the stitches being sewed to tight and it made my toe turn crooked", I still have not got the toe fixed, I look at it as my past adventure and pain. The toe is still way ugly and I make fun of it everyday; especially when I wear flip flops now that is way funny.