Lukeman Exercise Part One | Tyson Pulsipher

I took one of my sentences that was longer, and made it into short choppy sentences. To me it seems effective, as it kind of builds dramatically on what is about to happen in the story. Also, the sentences following the revision are longer, so I feel it mixes it up a bit.

Original:
My brother went first, he always did, I don’t think it was because he was fearless, but because he wanted to show me that he was tougher than I was.

Revised:
My brother went first. He always did. I don't think it was because he was fearless. He just wanted to show me that he was tougher. He had some trouble getting down, and the ladder almost fell out from under him, but he made it. I had witnessed the whole thing though, and I could see in my mind that ladder falling out from underneath me, and my body crashing to the ground, falling on top of the ladder, breaking bones and all sorts of other things.

Venture #2 | Tyson Pulsipher

Some things go unappreciated in life. From where I am sitting I can see two of these unappreciated “workers” going about their daily business. Though usually regarded as a pest or nuisance, it is quite seldom that we take the time to understand and appreciated the importance of these creatures. I remember my dad teaching their importance in our small garden as a boy. “If they did not come and pollinate the blossoms, then we would have to do it by hand with a Q-tip” he said. It’s thanks to them that we ever had delicious home grown tomatoes and squash, or that we enjoy the blooming of flowers in the spring.

Not only do they help with the blossoms on plants, they make our lives a little sweeter. I have always wanted to know what honeycomb tastes like…

Tyson Pulsipher | Introduction

Unfortunately I was a little late to class the first day when we were supposed to write down an interesting thing about ourselves. I asked the girl next to me what we were supposed to do, and she said, “Write your name, address, email, and something interesting about yourself.” “Great,” I thought, “a ‘Get-to-know-you’ game.”

Well, I searched my dull and uneventful life for a few moments, and the most interesting fact I could come up with was this: “I have never broken a bone in my body.” Lame. There are hundreds of people who have never broken a bone! And let’s be honest here, what is cool about not breaking a bone? You can’t just jump into a conversation where everyone is talking about broken arms from climbing accidents, and broken legs from motorcycle accidents and say, “Oh yeah, well this one time, I jumped off this gnarly ramp on my bike….and, uh…landed it!”

I was hoping that only the teacher would be aware of my ‘un’interesting fact, but now the whole class will know that I am pretty darn boring!

All the same though, I do count myself pretty lucky. I have had a few “crazy” things happen to me, and have been able to emerge with only scratches or a sprained ankle. I played sports all four years in high school, and you’d think I would have something to show for it…but I don’t. I sprained my ankle once in basketball, and in football I was just a wimp. The only time I wasn’t afraid to hit was when we were practicing on the tackling dummy. Perhaps if I was a little more aggressive I would have something to “show and tell.”

Not breaking a bone is not cool, but it is less painful. After sharing with someone that I had never broken anything, I have yet to hear the response, “Man, you’re missing out! Excruciating pain is the bomb!”