Beautiful Wisdom | Benjamin Dowse

Whoever dies with the most money gets to rot in the most expensive casket.

Lukeman Excercise Part Two | Benjamin Dowse

I decided to continue to work on the paragraph from excercise one because I think that the addition of a colon or two would improve it greatly. Here is the original, followed by revision including use of the colon.

Here it was, the culmination of a lifetime of hunting. There was only one animal from the "big 10" that he hadn't yet killed, and this animal had only been elusive because of the prohibitive price of hunting opportunities. Now was his chance for the buffalo. He had already paid for the opportunity to shoot one of the buffalo on this range and he greatly looked forward to the challenge. Waiting in green shadow, he heard as they rounded the buffalo toward him. As he tensed in anticipation, the buffalo charged into the middle of the clearing. He sized it up in his scope.

After a lifetime of hunting, waiting for this opportunity to finally come, he was finally here: he was ready. There was only one animal from the "big 10" that he hadn't yet killed, and this animal had only been elusive because of the prohibitive price of hunting opportunities. Now was his chance for the buffalo. He had already paid for the opportunity to shoot one of the buffalo on this range and he greatly looked forward to the challenge. Waiting in green shadow, he heard as they rounded the buffalo toward him. He tensed in anticipation, the buffalo charged into the middle of the clearing: he sized it up in his scope.

I think the addition of the colons in this paragraph make it much more dramatic. I like the way it "sounds" now.

Lukeman Excercise Part One | Benjamin Dowse

I took a paragraph I'm working on and decided to combine some of the short sentences to help it to flow better. I'm not sure it worked. I decided a halfway point would be better and the third paragraph demonstrates what I believe to be a happy medium.

Original:

This was the culmination of a lifetime of hunting. Only one animal from the "big 10" remained to be killed. The buffalo had been elusive to him because of the price involved with being able to hunt one. Now was his chance. Here on this range there were buffalo, and he had already paid for the opportunity to shoot one. He looked forward to the challenge. Waiting in the green shadows, he heard as they rounded the buffalo in his direction, he tensed with anticipation. Charging into the middle of the clearing, there it was, he sized it up in his scope.

Combined into two long sentences:

The culmination of a lifetime of hunting, only one animal from the "big 10" remained to be killed, an animal which had been elusive to him because of the prohibitive price of hunting opportunities; the buffalo. Now was his chance on this range where there were buffalo, he had already paid for the opportunity to shoot one and he looked forward to the challenge, waiting in the green shadows, hearing as they rounded the buffalo in his direction; he tensed with anticipation as the buffalo charged into the middle of the clearing and he sized it up in his scope.

Here is a compromise between the two (I think this one flows best):

Here it was, the culmination of a lifetime of hunting. There was only one animal from the "big 10" that he hadn't yet killed, and this animal had only been elusive because of the prohibitive price of hunting opportunities. Now was his chance for the buffalo. He had already paid for the opportunity to shoot one of the buffalo on this range and he greatly looked forward to the challenge. Waiting in green shadow, he heard as they rounded the buffalo toward him. As he tensed in anticipation, the buffalo charged into the middle of the clearing. He sized it up in his scope.

Venture #2 | Benjamin Dowse

About halfway up the red rock face, the telltale white-washing of their droppings on the rock gives away the nest's location. Its location is the first clue as to the incredible lives these creatures lead. Although not one of them is in sight, enough can be gathered simply from observing their home.
Two boulders jut from the side of the mountain and the patterns of white on their faces show exactly their favorite spots to sit on the rock, as they use their incredible eyes to survey their territory.
Their territory. Clearly this includes the sky. Only absolute masters of the air could even manage to reach the nest, let alone live there. The falcon owns the sky. It is the fastest animal on the earth. Looking up onto the majestic mountains that are its home, it is clear that I am merely a visitor.

Grand Canyon Introduction | Benjamin Dowse

Having enjoyed climbing and boulder-hopping and those types of things my entire life, it may be safe to say that I didn't really respect heights. I didn't respect gravity either. I could, of course, feel its pull in my everyday movements, but I never figured it was strong enough to overpower me. Notice all of this is in the past tense. This was how I felt before my experience in the Grand Canyon.
Along with my friend Mike, his dad and a group of about 14 young boy scouts, I was headed off to the wilds of the Grand Canyon, to hike in and out again and live to tell the tale. That was the goal, and I had not doubt I would accomplish it. As I mentioned, I had no respect for, let alone fear of heights.
We came to our first major drop, about a 40 foot cliff, and I quickly descended, finding a suitable path, and then climbing back up again to guide the boy scouts along their way. I took a post about half-way down the cliff face, Mike was about 10 feet below me. As I showed one scout where to put his feet and get down to where Mike was waiting, I looked up and that saw Larry, an obese young man who was already sweating profusely, was coming down towards me. I immediately realized that I was going to have to find new footing for myself to make room for him.
Reaching over and grabbing onto a new handhold, I quickly, and without thinking, put my weight onto that handhold to adjust my feet. As I did so something happened that I had never really experienced before. Gravity took over. As the rock broke away in my hand, I fell backwards the 20 feet to the floor of the cliff below. In falling, I didn't have a "life flashing before my eyes" experience at all. I probably would have been disappointed if it weren't for the fact that taking the place of my life-flashing experience were my survival instincts. I could only think, Don't let your head hit! I gradually manipulated my body and struck the ground with my upper back, rolling as it hit so the impact spread throughout my back and into my hips.
I laid there for a minute, trying to make sense of what had happened. I wasn't unconcious. I wasn't dead. In fact, I felt pretty good. I got up and brushed myself off. Besides a few cuts and bruises, I was just fine! Mike, who had watched me fall straight past him and I'm sure had given me up for dead, dropped down next to me and looked at me as if he were seeing a ghost. I returned his stare.
"Thanks for catching me!" I said, then I grinned and headed back up the cliff.