Beautiful Wisdom | Melissa Erickson

Prom: A step used to ease into, and prepare for all the drama, crisis, and tears involved in a wedding.

Lukeman Exercise 3 | Melissa Erickson

I know...I know. After what seems like forever, I finally got my blogger account to work. It really only cost a few hours of internal pain, frustration, and extreme homicidal feelings toward everything electronic or technical. So really; not a big deal. Again, thank you so much for your patience!

LUKEMAN EXCERCISE THREE

I am really glad I received the opportunity to read this book, and apply it to works I had already written. I've never been one for "correct" punctuation. I would always just cruise along, plopping commas in wherever I "felt like it." Reading Lukeman gave me a better understanding of the effect punctuation has on writing when used properly.

I have never realized the power that a colon could have when used correctly. It really made something of importance stand out from the rest of the text.
Using semi-colons helped my work too by making it flow alot better together, rather than have a whole bunch of short sentences. The semi-colon connected this sentences, and the piece flowed much more smoothly. Of course, these are only a few examples from what I learned in this section; there are so many more things that I've taken into account after my reading.

While I still tend to overuse commas, and sometimes forget there are other types of punctuation, I am beginning to judge my work more and more, and apply semi-colons, colons, quotations, and the various other marks we learned about in Lukeman's book.

Lukeman really made me see what my style with punctuation was, and how my work could be greatly improved by using the marks he explained very clearly in his book.

Lukeman Exercise Part Two | Melissa Erickson

This is only a section of the original work:
All of a sudden, something smacked violently against the side door. We had hit something, and fear swelled within us. Screeching to a complete stop, we could see the small, crumpled outline of what could only be a child. Slowly, and dazed, we opened the door as unexplainable dread rose within us as we began to make our way over to the dark mound. Unexpectedly, the figure began to crawl away, almost in fear. Squinting against the rain, we tried to follow, only to have it again try to run from us. Lighting flashed against the dark backdrop of the sky, and for a brief moment we could see the face of the child we had hit. It’s tangled face was fused with sticks and shrubbery. Our mouths dropped with shock. The beaten down child was actually a tumbleweed.
REVISED: (Colons in Red)
All of a sudden, something smacked violently against the side door:we had hit something. Screeching to a complete stop, we could see the small, crumpled outline of what could only be a child. Slowly, and dazed, we opened the door as unexplainable dread rose within us as we began to make our way over to the dark mound. Unexpectedly, the figure began to crawl away, almost in fear. Squinting against the rain, we tried to follow, only to have it again try to run from us. Lighting flashed against the dark backdrop of the sky, and for a brief moment we could see the face of the child we had hit. It’s tangled face was fused with sticks and shrubbery. Our mouths dropped with shock. The beaten down child was: a tumbleweed.

The colons really made an impact on my work. Instead of having everything meshed together, the colons made the most important parts and focus of the work stick out; making it have alot more of an impact. The point of the story was that we had hit something in a dark road, and believed it to be a child. The first important focus of the story was that we had hit something. Seperating this from the rest of the sentence with a colon really made it stand out. When we find that it was only a weed instead of something much worse was the other main part of the story. Again, seperating it with a colon draws more attention to it, and seperates it from the rest of the descriptions in the story.

Lukeman Exercise Part One | Melissa Erickson

ORIGINAL PARAGRAPH:
Once again girls, we only saw a split moment of this heinous crime. Please do not expect us to leap off our porch, and run to you hysterically screaming about details we have no way of even possibly knowing. The story was simple. We told you everything. It would be wrong of us to tell you the story of three, perfectly described men who crept through the night so that they may gaze upon the women they love. However, since the blinds were drawn, they were filled with rage and beat against the glass in the anger of their true heart’s desires being hidden away.It would also not be ethical of us to tell you the story of three lost Chipendale dancers who were knocking against windows in desperation for a place to stay and shield themselves from the biting 80 degree weather. Once inside, they would express their gratitude by performing a spectacular dance number for you, and perhaps even marry some of you. Since you were too late to come to the window, they darted down the street and ended up staying at your best friend’s apartment. You will be getting a wedding invitation in two weeks.

REVISED WITH SEMICOLONS:
Once again girls, we only saw a split moment of this heinous crime. Please do not expect us to leap off our porch, and run to you hysterically screaming about details we have no way of even possibly knowing. The story was simple; we told you everything. It would be wrong of us to tell you the story of three, perfectly described men who crept through the night so that they may gaze upon the women they love; however, since the blinds were drawn, they were filled with rage and beat against the glass in the anger of their true heart’s desires being hidden away.It would also not be ethical of us to tell you the story of three lost Chipendale dancers who were knocking against windows in desperation for a place to stay and shield themselves from the biting 80 degree weather. Once inside, they would express their gratitude by performing a spectacular dance number for you, and perhaps even marry some of you. Since you were too late to come to the window, they darted down the street and ended up staying at your best friend’s apartment; you will be getting a wedding invitation in two weeks.

I ended up adding three semicolons (highlighted in red.) Alot of my sentences seem too short to end with a period, and by adding a semicolon it reduced the "chopiness" and seemed to make it flow alot better. The paragraph now has sentences that are similar length, instead of when it had shorter ones that changed the tempo.

Venture 2 | Melissa Erickson

It was hot. Not as beastly as some days, but still hot nonetheless. Beauty was everywhere, and we were to spend a rare moment of appreciation for the exquisiteness surrounding us. It truly was breathtaking. I walked along the pebbled pathway and found a small, secluded area under the shade of a leafy tree. It was cooler under there, and I sat down to observe the nature around me. Birds chirped, bushes rustled, mountains towered; it was incredible. A small buzzing filled my ear. Under the mindset of admiring all of Mother Nature’s children, the small buzzing in my ear was like a masterpiece for me. I listened for a moment, and gave the small fly a chance to sing its melody before gently swatting it away. Seconds later, it came back. Not yet annoyed, I kindly guided it away. I again tried to focus until the little demon came back a split moment later. He landed on my wrist, and began the long climb up my arm. He was tiny, and his microscopic legs tickled my skin as he maneuvered his way across it.

Looking closely, I could see his eyes; giant compared to the rest of him proportionately, anyway. His tiny wings fluttered as he gave up on his hike, and instead flew up to my shoulder. Agitated now, I flicked him away, only to have him return yet again. More violent this time, I angrily swatted at him, hoping to send the subtle message: “Leave me alone dangit! Don’t you understand that I’m trying to find an appreciation for nature?! Go away! I hate you!”

He seemed to understand for a fraction of a minute; but only that. Again he returned, now the only purpose in his short, measly little life to annoy the hell out of me. Not only that, but within his last departure, he rounded up all of his other buzzing little friends who came to crawl in my ear, across my forehead, and down my arms. This was ridiculous. The buzzing that was once harmonic now morphed into an obnoxious roar. Each miniature insect had looked very similar to the fly I had become acquainted with in the beginning. Small round bodies, tiny skinny legs, buzzing wings, and giant eyes, they all swarmed around me, distracting me from my purpose of enjoying the wonders around me.

Finally, it was time to go. With once happy, turned homicidal thoughts, I set out down the pebbled path lined with bushes, flowers, and trees. Our task was to appreciate nature. It had been a very productive experience.

Introduction | Melissa Erickson

Disney can cause very powerful addictions. Their constant portrayal of abnormally-large, wide eyed, furry animal fluff balls led me to believe that every species can only be cuddly loving bundles of joy that spread happiness everywhere. I longed only to become life-long companions with every fluffy living thing, and have their adoring, warm admiration for my friendship. This, however, is extremely misleading. Due to being taught at a young age that all animals are pleasant, I ended up putting my faith and trust into a colossal falsification.

I was too young to know any better; and completely unaware that a brisk walk down a residential street would lead to grueling hours in the hospital. It all started when I walked across a rain grate in the sidewalk filled with fallen leaves. A brief rustle caught my attention, and I peered down in the opening. A small, round, terror-filled eye blinked up at me. With another rustle, the leaves shifted and revealed a petite grey body. It was a squirrel. Trapped, scared, alone, and in desperate need of tender loving assistance. Colorful images floated through my mind of my furry companion and I romping through flower infested fields. Poor guy; he would just refuse to leave my side since the day I saved his life. I lifted out one of the grates entrapping him, but he only maneuvered his way under a second grate that was cemented in. I was angry. “Stop it! Don’t you want to love me?!”

I’ve always had the problem of thinking while I perform an action; not before. So it was only natural that I wondered if I should grab a stick during the time I bent down and stuck my finger in front of his nose to bump him out gently. The pain was excruciating, and the little ungrateful demon scurried backwards and leapt out of the grate; running into the distance, never to be seen again. Eight stitches later, and the reputation of being called “Squirrel Girl” every time I revisit that particular emergency room, I learned a very valuable and harsh lesson. Now, I’m known to never take things to extremes, but I’ve come to terms with the fact that all animals are evil spirits whose only desires are to inflict pain and harm to the humans who only long to love them.