Lukeman Exercise Part One | Celeste Johnson

I gave my paper to Adell to read and she made some good suggestions. There were so many exercises to choose from. It was hard for me to dissect my sentences to see which could stay smaller and which needed to be connected. I kinda did two exercises in one. Exercise two in the comma section and exercise two in the semicolon section. In some parts the commas worked well while others I believe needed semi-colons. I hope morphing two exercises was ok. Here is how the section originally read:

I was sixteen. I was invincible. Late one night I snuck out. I began running down the street to my friend's house. Up ahead I saw headlights. My stomach dropped. My town was small and I was out past curfew. I couldn't get caught. My heart started racing, pulse rocketing high, as sweat burst through my skin. I made a snap decision. I jumped. Uncomfortably landing in a bushy area at the bottom of a pepper tree. As luck would have it, this Saviour of a tree was directly across the street from my friend's house. In a sitting up fetal position, I snuggled my legs and plastered myself against the tree trunk. Hidden well.

Here is my attempt to fix/correct this section:

I was sixteen and invincible. Late one night I snuck out. I began running down the street to my friend's house. Up ahead I saw headlights; my stomach dropped. My town was small, I was out past curfew, and I couldn't get caught. My heart raced and pulse rocketed high; sweat burst through my skin. I made a snap decision, I jumped. I uncomfortably landed in a bushy area at the bottom of a pepper tree. As luck would have it, this Saviour of a tree was directly across the street from my friend's house. In a sitting up fetal position, I snuggled my legs, plastered myself against the tree trunk, and hide well.