Lukeman Exercise Part Two | Janette Jones

I chose to look for a place in my work that contains a cluster of short sentences that are related to each other, and connected theses sentences with semicolons.

I think that it helps the paragraph run smoother, and I will apply it to the rest of my paper.

Original:
I arrived at my destination, Gamara. Streets filled with run down shops and dirty vendors. People everywhere. I had come to this particular shopping area with my grandma before. I thought nothing of coming her by myself, despite the warnings from my family. I walked from shop to shop. I was buying things to tote back to my friends and family in the United States.

Revised:
I arrived at my destination; it was called Gamara. Streets filled with run down shops and dirty vendors brought people buzzing around like flies. I had come to this particular shopping area with my grandma before; so I thought nothing of coming here by myself, despite the warnings from my family. I walked from shop to shop, buying things to tote back to my friends and family in the United States.