Lukeman Exercise Part Two | Adell DeGraffenried

Question: For summation. Choose a place in one of your works where you describe something at length and would like to conclude with an overall impression. Perhaps it's a passage where you describe a character or a setting. As you conclude your describption, use a colon at just the right moment. What difference does it make? Can you apply this technique elsewhere in your work?

BEFORE:
She was slim and dark, pieces of her wilted hair catching in the flicker of the candle, casting spider-like shadows on the walls. The woman stood taller than she was accustomed to, her hands clenched into tense balls flexing in and out. Her eyes were meant to be blue but when she was in this tyrannic state they were steel marbles waiting to plunge down the throat of her victim choking them to no end. The line of her small mouth was firm, holding in the obscenities she was yearning to spit at him. How could he do this to her after months of torturous agony spend uselessly on him? Her hands flexed the last time, ending with talons drawn. She was ready for the fight. She was going to slaughter this man who had ruined her last piece of dignity. She was the woman of death and hate and anguish and the image of rage.

AFTER:
She was slim and dark, pieces of her wilted hair catching in the flicker of the candle, casting spider-like shadows on the walls. The woman stood taller than she was accustomed to, her hands clenched into tense balls flexing in and out. Her eyes were meant to be blue but when she was in this tyrannic state they were steel marbles waiting to plunge down the throat of her victim choking them to no end. The line of her small mouth was firm, holding in the obscenities she was yearning to spit at him. How could he do this to her after months of torturous agony spend uselessly on him? Her hands flexed the last time, ending with talons drawn. She was ready for the fight. She was going to slaughter this man who had ruined her last piece of dignity. She was the woman of death and hate and anguish: she was the image of rage.

To me, the difference the colon made was incredible. Where there was just a long sentence finishing off the discription of my character before, and an incomplete ending, I felt the colon did what I wanted it to. It concluded with a bang. I think I will try to apply this more in my free writing to see if it makes a difference in other pieces.